Can we spell B A L A N C E?

Balance is a very over-used word that creates a false impression of having control over all elements in life (time for a big laugh here)…then life deals you one of those whacks up the side of the head.  Facing many major life transitions has proven to us that Balance (with a Big B), the kind the media gurus want us to buy, is an urban myth.  Personally, we are looking for equilibrium, not balance, we want a new equilibrium, one that is not based on a model of perfection because goodness knows, life can be anything but perfect.  It is time to forget the ‘perfect pie of life’ model of balance.  After all, how many times in the last year have you been able to divide your time and energy equally, perfectly, between all life areas?  

More often than not, the word ‘Balance’ is used to describe juggling personal and professional life, better known as work-life balance, but balance is simply not one dimensional.  Most of us these days juggle multiple activities and roles.  When we are doing this, ‘Big B Balance’ feels elusive to say the least.  Everytime we think we have the balance formula, something else happens or changes and we lose our footing.  It is discouraging to feel that our latest attempt at balance failed…again.

The problem is, when striving for Balance (with a capital B) we are attempting to create a static state, but balance simply cannot remain static.  We think balance is more like a chameleon changing colours to adapt to whatever it finds itself sitting on, and we call it ‘living balance’.    Our form of balance,  living balance comes from within you, it  is a part of you, a way of being that you carry with you, rather than some external target you try to hit and hang on to.    

In fact you already have many of the tools you need to achieve living balance. Tools that give you flexibility and resilience; like energy management, decision making, setting goals, or simply the ability to say “No”.  You just may not be using them in ways that create a balance-friendly life for yourself.

Another important dimension of living balance is achieving equilibrium between the energy you spend on yourself and the energy you spend on others.  Living Balance begins with taking care of yourself.  You simply cannot achieve a sense of harmony unless you give up trying to be all things to all people all of the time.  

Living balance means having the flexibility and resilience to transcend a world of constant change.  It is about feeling grounded and peaceful within yourself and at one with your world.  Living balance means being able to express your real self in the ordinary day to day of your life in a meaningful way. Tall order?  Maybe, but small steps lead to great changes.

Content provided by Dr Toby Silverton and Dr Bev McLagan of Silverton McLagan Coaching.

ABOUT DR TOBY SILVERTON AND DR BEV MCLAGAN
“I change myself, I change the world.” Gloria Anzaldua
Dr Toby Silverton and Dr Bev McLagan run Silverton McLagan Coaching.  They hold PhDs in Counselling Psychology.  They have more than 25 years clinical experience as counselling psychologists, psychotherapists, personal coaches and educators. They moved to the UK from Vancouver in 2009 and coach clients worldwide in person, by phone and online.  

Dr Toby and Dr Bev offer their own unique blend of psychotherapy and coaching, which they call ‘Psychodynamic Coaching’ and which results in ‘change that lasts a lifetime’.  They specialise in working with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) - a group that includes creative artists and other professionals, both women and men, who are usually successful and over-stretched perfectionists - helping them to achieve a ‘Living Balance’.

For more information visit www.livethesolution.com